Totally Unwell

Which in this case was probably Fred, when the realisation he was getting married finally hit home.

Obviously the nerves got to me as well, judging by the awfulness of the shots. Anyways the wedding was deemed a success as Jen and Fred got legally bonded, which I think is as about as romantic as things get. Actually scrap that, the most romantic thing is bringing another couple into the mix on your honeymoon. Romantic and Spicy. Excellent.

I am starting to absorb a wealth of experience from guesting at various weddings, so here are my top 10 wedding tips.

1. Never invite Pirates to Weddings or any other form of Sea Faring pillager. Vikings would be included in this (C/O Fred & Jens Wedding)

2. Keep Mushroom consumption to a minimum (C/O Sal & Eds Wedding)

3. You may like "An Officer and a Gentleman", but it is probably best to keep this quiet (C/O Mick & Lisa's Wedding)

4. Don't sit me next to a) a guy called Tarquin b) 16 month old baby c) Jenny From the Block d) police officers e) my parents and expect sensible behaviour. It just won't happen.

5. Never leave until the married couple have gone to bed. Make sure you have made no prior plans on how to get home. It is always more fun trying to figure out this conundrum drunk at 3.00am.

6. Never Volunteer for a round. Just don't (C/o Most Weddings but especially Helens Wedding)

7. Make sure you eat as many sausage rolls as you can at the evening buffet. You will flag without the pastry & meat savoury. If Rolls not available bulk up on Vol au vents.

8. Never allow a full on Rave / Tranceathon to develop on the dancefloor. Old Men naked from the waist up should never been seen girating at a wedding (C/o Elaine & Carls Wedding)

9. However do allow any multi instrumentalist at the gathering to bash away for 5 minutes, on a flute for example (C/o Mand & Johns Wedding)

10. Make sure you enjoy the day, as after all Weddings are for the Guests. Don't let the Bride & groom tell you otherwise.