Totally Unwell

If ever I wanted a team to win a match it would be Poland, tonight against Germany, on German soil. Hopefully the Dunkles Weissbier will provide the inspiration for a player I think Gordon Strachan calls "Magic" Zurawski. But I could have that wrong. Gordon seems to becoming more and more cryptic by the day, he was even trying to gamble in dollars.
The BBC have obviously tried to pull out all the stops for tonights game, by having Mick McCarthy pundit. I think he is a Yorkshireman, but I am pretty certain he is 100% idiot. He already has the quote of the World Cup.

"Wally. He's a Wally"

Come on Poland!

If they win, this lot will go down in history.

A Wheat Beer. How this game ended up 2-2 I will never know. Even a Boltonian got on the scoresheet which is surely wrong. The lethargy both teams had, visibly lifted in the second half, and in the end was quite an enjoyable game. I bet no one noticed Steve Bruce, in disguise, on a spying mission to get some players for his brummies. Does he not know the Saudi players don't leave the KSA.

I had Fish & Chips and some Peri-Peri Sauce for Tea, but will Steve enjoy his Cup-a-Soup.

When you watch Saudi Arabia v Tunisia. If this game was a beer it would be a warm Carling. At least it now has a goal. The goal came from what all commentators like to say is the [Insert Country]'s David Beckham.

The brilliant thing about Saudi Arabia is that none of their players play outside their country ( Italy are the only other). They also don't like playing foreign international matches. Generally they don't like things outside their domain. Brilliant.

The intolerable Jim Beglin pundits on this game. I think this match has been especially chosen for Beglin.

Here's me celebrating the opening goal from the Tunisian David Beckham (a brilliant get out clause when you can't pronounce their name). The hat is not naturally that shape.

The downside to the World Cup in terms of man fat is the 10 hours or so, of drinking, eating and sloth like activity. The upside to being off work is that I have now got my "unemployed" exercise regime back. Which means that I can wander / ride the streets. In fact I saw so many "old characters" this morning around the streets of Coppull that I felt as unemployed as the day I was born.

So what will win after a month, Booze, Chemical Crisps & Mussel Meat or "Unemployed" Exercise.

It will be the tightest battle of the World Cup. Don't let me end up like Mark Viduka.

In the 1Hr Downtime between matches, there is nothing better than listening to some old school funk, drinking some Belgian Brun, Creating Fur in your mouth with Spar's "Fried Onion Flavour Corn Rings", and finishing it off with a Glenn Roeder popsicle. Look at the delight on the face of this girl as she puts Glenn into her mouth. She'll have to watch out for his broad shoulders getting stuck though.

4-0 to Spain, and my previous "prediction" that Spain will be the team to watch still stands.

Shevchenko has been as prominent today as the letter H is to a Chav in describing his abode.

Ome
Ouse
Ovel

Completely Missing. Looking Forward to the next game Tunisia and Saudi Arabia. I think I will move colours on the beer front now and try some Belgian Brun beers. The Weiss is nice, but the Brun is better.

I don't know who Marketers think are watching the World Cup in the afternoon, but I have just seen the fifth advert for "The Best of Level 42" on ITV since the game started.

Touching on David Pleat previously (sorry). It has come to my attention that he is the human face of Sesame Streets', man of mystery "The Count". I believe he is the spit, but others have suggested that multi-tasking ITV frontman Jim Rosenthal is truly "The Count". You decide who is the Count.

Take note of Peter Crouch attempting his robot dance behind the Count.

Worst decision of the World Cup, by a Swiss Ref who sent off a Ukrainian for being near a Spaniard (and gave a penalty). Bizarre.

The Count isn't happy.

Heat is picking up again, which makes the first Hoegaarden of the day very sweet. Spain have just taken the lead and it is well deserved. Thumbsucking Luis Garcia seems to have claimed it, but to me it looked like it came off Xabi Alonso.

And as the blog hits real time speed, Spain have scored again through David Villa. Best thing Villa have done all season, and pigmy O'Leary knowhere around.

Spain on this performance look a good outside bet for the World Cup.

David Pleat is sounding very disturbing today. At least he is in Germany, not on our streets. He just said " I got tired, just watching the players warm up". I bet he did.

As you will notice my deer antler bottle opener has turned up, and is already "earning its keep".

Finally managed to get out and about on the ol'mountain bike for 2 hours of dizziness, sick inducement and weariness. I think I covered every square inch of Coppull, but as predicted down town Coppull or 'da ghetto' as it is known to the jungle brothers offered the best examples of House Art.

I think the four portraits exemplify the ingenuity, style and pioneering spirit that makes Coppull the hottest "artistic greenhouse" (quote: Mark Bright) since Warhol started painting soup cans in New York.

I especially like how the England flag has been bound to the guys chimney, with a knot that hasn't been used since the Mary Rose sank. I am going to get some water and rest up before the first game of the day at 2.

Starting to get into the mood of the World Cup now, even managed to sleep till 8.00.

I am even adept at using some of most frequent excuses of the World Cup so far.

i.e, the heat is too much for me to do anything (i.e move downstairs to the fridge).
The ball is too light (after a Hugo Sanchez style bicycle kick) took out several garden ornaments.
And finally the Refs are too strict (after the inevitable inquest into the broken garden ornaments).

I am also learning to pace myself, I think the key is to keep yourself occupied during the non football match times (which is around 16 hours a day). This has become known as DownTime. I have discovered sleep can use up at least 8 of these, so I am looking at adventure for the other 8.

Today I will go on a mission to find the most poorly decorated (garish) house in the local area. I will report back later. If anyone has some ideas of what I can do for the remaining World Cup drop me a line, and I will endeavour to chronicle the escapade.

Enjoyed greatly seeing the French Struggle. A few more performances like that and hopefully we should see the back of them. Even "The Gormless One" Pip Senderos had a good game.
Brazil struggled, so at least it's not just the English who have disappointed so far.

Also, at last every large man in the UK can sleep easily knowing Rotundo can still get a game for the Brazilians. Surely the best paunch of the World Cup so far?

After some horrendous afternoon weather yesterday, the German-esque heatwave appears to have returned - I don't know how I'll be able to last in the Greenhouse conditions. At last I now have the chance to polish off some of my BBQ food which is taking up much needed room in the "World Cup Refreshment Dispenser and Storage Unit".

The Tottenham Hotspur-like bug in the Phillips' household has claimed its third victim. Now Both Folks, and Brother are all looking as bad as Michael Carrick on the last day of the season. Nice. This will keep "our" Adrian from visiting his favourite establishment.

At least this means they are keeping out of my hair (if I still had any). Time to make a Bacon Butty methinks. Here is a picture of the Man & Scythe 7 - aside team, after playing in their final World Cup warm up match. In reality I don't know any of these people, but they did turn us on to some strong scrumpy.