Monday, June 12, 2006
Sweat, Blood and Trots
The reason for the delay in posts was this day and this day alone. England v Paraguay, and the day when all reason went out of not just my window, but the collective 'window' (probably best described as the collective Patio Doors). Arrived at the pub at 11.15 for a Breakfast Burger and 'worrying' pint of Kronenbourg - and amused ourselves with the myriad of grown men who seemed to have found their wives make up bags' and drunkenly decorated their faces with the St. George's cross.
It became obvious as soon as we got to Harry's Bar that things were going to get hot....very hot. A cue of 100 had formed outside, waiting for opening time. The local Spar was doing a roaring trade selling cans to the assortment of revellers waiting, and in typical fashion as soon as we got our cans the doors opened.
The heat inside was absolutely horrendous, and it became apparant that if we were to survive we would have to 'ponce' away from the big screen and stand by the open fire escape. Probably a good idea as the game was deadly dull, and the chav clientele had taken to removing their ubiquitous England Tops and rotating them around their "Beckham Coiffured" heads. To be fair this was cooling us 'older' types off quite nicely.
Escaped back to Coppull and the more serene environment of Chez Woodcock. I say serene, but the continued bouts of man wrestling in the afternoon sun was probably not a good idea (both in terms of dehydration, and blood loss - which I discovered on my inner thigh the following morning).
It later transpired that "our" Adrian as he is colloquially known started getting a touch, of what can only be described as the trots. From what he has later confessed, he was very nearly on the verge of "Crete Ass". Which for those who know means the otter was going to become very silky, very fast. This is the official reason for his disappearance.
Can't remember too much more of the day, apart from playing football on a ploughed field, and bogling the young "ghetto" kid in the "pimp mobile" outside The Printers. Ramshank indeed.
